From about secondary school to when I dropped out of university, I came across various different types of people. Not that I was mingling with any and every one. More time I liked to be by myself, I enjoyed my own company; BUT the people I considered ‘friends’ or even labelled them as ‘sisters’ it just turned out to be that they were nothing but poison or just not good for my soul. Some of these girls would tell me that they would always be there for me, that we’re ‘sisters for life’ lol…
You live and you learn to be honest. I opened up to these girls; my guard was down because I trusted them. It’s funny how someone you speak to, chill with and open up to you, also consider family; can then end up being a stranger. To this day I don’t have a relationship with anyone I went to secondary school, college or university with because the relationships weren’t going anywhere. They were just there for the sake of it.
I sit here and analyse how things were back in the day and I notice my behaviour and attitude years ago. It wasn’t nice. I was rude, arrogant, ignorant and snobbish just to mention a few. Why? Because of the people I surrounded myself with. You could say I was easy influenced. The good thing is that I met a couple of people through the people I THOUGHT were my friends and now we’re closer than ever, they are my rocks and I love them with all my heart. They are family not even friends. The ones I thought were my friends have become irrelevant to life, I don’t have anything against them at all but they aren’t benefiting my life.
I have my sisters now who I love very dearly and they are all the friends I ever need, there are a few others too that I know are reading this now that I thought I wouldn’t be very close with, they know I will ALWAYS be there for them no matter what! Not using it as an excuse, but I think it was because I didn’t have anyone around me who could teach me how to live life gracefully and not act ‘ratchet’. I didn’t have older cousins around me; most of them are in Uganda. Also I weren’t too close to the female family friends that I grew up with, felt left out in a way. Life went on.
In Proverbs 12:26 it says ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ When I read this I just have a flash back of the past about all the things I used to do because of the people I used to hang around. Fighting, stealing, using profanity and not acting like a true child of God. I know this isn’t the will of God and what he had planned for my life; it’s FAR from what God has planned.
I kept thinking to myself over a period of time if it’s true that I’ll become like the friends I spend time with, then I have to select my friends wisely. The friends I have now are beautiful ladies and I have changed a lot for the better and I’m still trying to better myself as the days go on.
Some people need to realise that the main quality to look for in a close friend is not how attractive, talented, wealthy, smart, influential or popular they are, you need to see how much they love and fear God. I have both friends that are believers and unbelievers; it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be a friend with the unbelievers.
I believe I am a tool of God so I can eventually reach out to these unbeliever friends of mine. If you don’t have close friends that are believers, PRAY for godly and desirable friends to come in your life, and/or even pray that God can be transformed. I do it every day. I want my sisters to be able to close to God, to love and fear him as well. I don’t want to force these relationships with God to happen, I’m going to continue praying for them to happen.
Here are a few good signs of a DESIRABLE friend and some scriptures that relate to them, so take time to read and meditate on the scriptures provided when you can.
A desirable friend:
- Tells you the truth in love (Proverbs 27:6)
- Gives you sound advice (Proverbs 27:9)
- Refines you (Proverbs 27:17)
- Helps you grow in wisdom (Proverbs 13:20)
- Stays close to you (Proverbs 18:24)
- Loves you and stands by you (Proverbs 17:17)
- Is a help in time of trouble (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
If you have friends with these particular qualities, PROTECT those friendships with prayer! Prayer is powerful, God hears you. If you have friends who don’t have as many of these qualities, then you should pray about these too.
Here are a few good signs of an UNDESIRABLE friend and some scriptures that relate to them, so take time to read and meditate on the scriptures provided when you can.
An undesirable friend:
- Is immoral and has no regard for others (1 Corinthians 5:11)
- Is changeable and unstable (Proverbs 24:21-22)
- Is frequently angry (Proverbs 22)
- Gives ungodly counsel (Psalm 1:1)
- Is a lawless believer (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
- Is a fool (Proverbs 13:20)
- Is disrespectful towards God and His laws (Psalm 119:63)
Well… if you have friends with these characteristics I suggest you ask God to send you new friends while you PRAY for your old ones to be transformed.
I ask God daily to make me a good friend to others and give me a pure and loving heart in ALL my relationships. You should do the same, especially for those that you live with. It says in the bible in Matthew 12:25 that ‘every…house divided against itself will not stand’. You can’t have peace if you’ve got qualms with people in your home.
In life we need to realise that relationships will be crucial to our well-being. The right relationships will improve and balance you and give you a healthy perception on things. Godly people will help you walk in the right direction, and the good in them will rub off on you!
The quality of your relationships will determine the quality of your life. And that is something worth praying about!!