Jesus at the centre of it all…🙏🏾❤️

Putting the Lord almighty at the centre of my life has been one thing I was always shaky with. But now he is the first I go to when I’m down and he has been more than faithful to me and blessed me and is still blessing me even more; spiritually not only with material things. It’s a lot! I love him more and more each day because even when I fail him, he NEVER fails me. 

I’ve gone from being suicidal and suffering severe depression to being 3 months away from being a mum and being SO happy; as in the happiest I have EVER been. God is amazing, right? People ask me how do I do it, and the only answer I can give them is prayer. The power of prayer should never be underestimated, ever. All I ever pray for is strength; mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I feel as though I’m in such a great space now and nothing can bring me down. 

Nearly 2 years ago I remember being in such a bad space, I hit rock bottom. I hated life, I hated work, I hated being around people and most of all I really hated myself. My mum was in hospital for nearly 3 months and to see her in such a state was heartbreaking; the doctors saying she would never be able to walk again; all because of an infection she got while at the hospital. I was going through a rough time. 

Every time I would go to the hospital I had to go underground and I would just zone out and think about which train I wanted to jump in front of. There were a few times I had dreams about how life would be without me and I definitely had to snap out of it immediately. Long story short I had to do some serious praying to get through that period of my life. 
The period between then and now has been very rocky; having my heart broken, spiritual attacks, feeling worthless. The suicidal thoughts came back one time at the end of last year and I wanted to go for a walk by the riverside near my house around 11pm; I actually remember my aunt wouldn’t allow me to go out by myself. Let me tell you that was God right then because I had planned to jump but she came with me to just rant and let out all I’m feeling and thinking. I remember that night; it was raining heavily and I was just crying in the rain and crying out to God. 

To think I’ve had depression for 10 years but it only affected me severely the last 3/4 years, I’m just happy, even though it sounds bad, I’m happy I was able to deal with it the past couple years. I refuse to be filled with so much fear, hurt and anger. My heart always felt heavy and it wasn’t a nice feeling. The burden I was carrying not remembering Jesus died for all of this. I feel bad because I don’t want him to carry all my problems and all the bad things I’ve done but that’s his job. I just needed to have a repentant heart and remember he loves me no matter what. 

Years later that I believe I am stronger than I have ever been. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally I feel as though I’ve had my tests in life but now all I have is testimonies to share. I’ve been doing my very best to just have faith and forget about what can’t work and probably won’t work. people have been saying ‘You can’t do this alone!’ I’ve got God, I’m not alone at all. He has been SO good to me and given me blessings that I thought I could never get, all because I had faith you know. My faith is stronger than ever. I will never doubt God because He always comes through for me. Some people don’t want to hear about God too tough they just want to blank it out, that’s cool though, we all know that nothing is by force. But one thing’s for sure; I will let my life tell you about Him. 

Now depression and pregnancy isn’t my portion and I have definitely been rebuking that. I can honestly say that I haven’t once had a negative thought or suicidal thought at all and for that I thank God. This is what happens when I put Jesus at the centre of it all. 

To my unborn child…

You don’t know how excited I am to be your mummy. It fills me with so much joy that I’ll be meeting you very soon. I am elated that God has given me such a blessing. I’ve had so much love to give but nobody genuine to give it to, the day I meet you for the first time I will make sure I smother you with it; so you know you don’t deserve anything less. I’m loving you more and more each day, even when you kick me in the morning when I want to sleep in late.

I want to be able to teach you life lessons that they won’t be able to teach you in school, college or university. I want to be able to tell you my experiences and what I learnt from them. I’ve made many mistakes in life and that’s what life is all about. Don’t let anybody tell you that you’ll never amount to anything! You can do anything, and be anything you put your mind to. I’ll be your number one supporter from the moment I hear your first cry in 4 months time. 

The moment I found out I was having a little girl I held back tears because I knew from 6 weeks pregnant that you were a girl. I was filled with so much joy that I can’t even put it in words how I felt. I prayed to God for him to bless me with what He knows I can handle. And Lord knows that I can handle a baby girl because I’ve got so much to tell you and teach you. 

It may just be me by your side and there are some things that I won’t be able to do or teach you that you need to learn from your dad but Lord knows I will try my best to give you the best of both worlds. 

That doesn’t mean you can now start saying happy Father’s Day to my mum – no! 

I don’t know what else to say to you other than I cannot wait to meet you Miss A-L Malaika Mirembe, my angel my peace my one and only. 

I love you baby girl 💗

Financial Warfare…

Hello hiiiiii. Hope you’ve all been well and had a great week.

Financially, this year hasn’t been the greatest for me, struggled a few times, but I’ve got by with the help of friends and family and my faith that things won’t be like this any longer. I always just need to realise that I will get through it all and my situation isn’t permanent no matter what.

I was studying the bible and the scripture I was standing on for this week, praying and meditating on was initially the famous Philippians 4:13... I always just read the scripture and that was it; but it wasn’t until I decided to go deeper and read the verses before it got to verse 13. Take a look..

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength – ‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭11-13‬ NLT

I read it and I was literally like ‘yoooo, hold up’ I realised it holds SO much power. Can you see how deep it is?

I literally went from having a full time job, to a part time job, to having no job for a few months, working a dead end job of 4 hours a week to getting a full time job to now working part time again. It’s been a roller coaster 😩 but I’m good you know. I went from living that life of always eating out, enjoying life to then struggling to even get money for a simple weekly bus pass. Times were hard.

In all this, I’ve learned to manage my money and also to always rely on The Lord because I know He can get me through it and He continuously gives me strength to keep going. I’ve learned to be content when I have a lot and when I hardly have anything also. The Lord will get me through it.

Thank you to EVERYONE who’s helped me financially; you will be rewarded. Just wait on it ❤️

Well that’s all from me for now. Hope this encourages someone. Stay blessed xo

Eliminating Negativity & Radiating Positivity 🌸💛

I’ve had a number of people asking me how I overcame depression, what did I do personally without professional help and medication. This post is going to go into a bit more detail about how God set me free from negative emotions. It is through God I gathered strength to overcome this dark period in my life, there are times I feel low still – but things are much better.

DISCLAIMER: this blog post is not just aimed at Christians but there are SOME people who find encouragement through bible scriptures. Before everyone thinks that I am a ‘bible basher’; I am far from that. ALSO not to take away from God, I know I did overcome depression by myself, but if it wasn’t for my faith in Him and Him giving me strength, I believe I personally would still be struggling to overcome this obstacle.

We all tend to overthink, and it can be quite risky. You have to see it as the past has gone, we live in the now. We have the control to make a difference on what has been.

If you knew me a few months/years back, you’d know that I was quite an emotional person. I used to live with anxiety, fear and hopelessness like it was a way of life. I used to think nothing was going right, that I would never be genuinely happy at all. Obviously, I did have some happy times but it was the negative thoughts that overpowered the positive side of me. I came to my senses when I finally realised that negativity wasn’t getting me anywhere and wasn’t going to fix things in my life. It was so draining and I could see how it would affect me physically as well as mentally/emotionally.

I am a born again Christian and have been for the past 8 years, I can honestly say that my relationship with God has been a roller coaster, it hasn’t been perfect at all, and I tried and still do try my best to see what I can do to make things right within myself and to please God.

Did you know that it is possible to live without negative emotions? It actually is, and we can do this if we PRAY. God will remove all the doubt and hopelessness off of us if we ask Him to. I’m sure there are times where we have felt like we are alone and abandoned. But the truth is we aren’t. God is ALWAYS with us when we call upon Him. We don’t have to be controlled by our negative emotions. We can actually resist these negative emotions by praying and knowing the truth of what God’s word says about them.

No matter what problems I had in life, I always needed to remember that the Lord had overcome them for me and for you. What I needed to know is that when I was always worried and anxious it meant I wasn’t trusting God to take care of me. He’ll prove His faithfulness if I run to him. Being angry and bitter wouldn’t solve anything it just constantly ate me up inside, when a root of bitterness takes hold of your life, it consumes you and cuts off the blessings of God. There were times were I felt so hopeless, but I needed to realise that no matter how bad things appear to get in life, I should ALWAYS have hope in the Lord, because he will see me through it all.

Below are a few negative emotions that I dealt with and still do kind of deal with but with time I will overcome completely, also I’ve added scriptures that I would read and meditate on when I felt some kind of way.

FEELING NERVOUS – Spending time with God will free you from anxiety | Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Jesus Christ – Philippians 4:6-7

FEELING IRRITATED – Don’t let anger control you, it’s so draining | ‘Don’t sin by letting anger control you’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives foothold to the devil – Ephesians 4:26-27

FEELING DISAPPOINTED – It’s SO easy to focus on the negative and look for everything that is wrong with your life. You can and you will overcome this | For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength – Philippians 4:13

FEELING JEALOUS – When you set your eyes on someone else and what THEY have instead of the Lord and what HE has, that greedy spirit invites misery and disappointment into your life. | A sound heart us life to the body, but envy us rottenness to the bones – Proverbs 14:30

FEELING DEPRESSED – So many people live with depression and accept it without even noticing. God doesn’t want us to live with these feelings. He wants us to have the joy of the Lord rise in us and chase away the spirits of heaviness. God wants us to cry out to Him so He can lift us out of depression. | The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is close to those who have a broken heart and rescues those whose spirits are crushed – Psalm 34:17-18

FEELING SCARED – I always used to think I was alone when it came to depression and that nobody was there for me but when I realigned my focus towards God things got better | I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me – Psalm 16:8

Negative emotions reveal doubt. If we thoroughly trust God, what do we have to be anxious about?

May God continue to bless you xo

I am reaching out to those who do not want to suffer in silence anymore. If you would like to talk to me about depression, anxiety, or if you would like encouragement and motivation; please don’t hesitate to drop me an email:

All emails are confidential!

remember to eliminate negativity and radiate positivity. As ‘rinsed’ out some may think the phrase is, it’s the truth positivity breeds happiness. 🌸💙

Dear Mella.. 📝

After opening up about my own experience of severe depression, I just have the urge to reach out to people who have gone through or currently going through depression and anxiety right now. I’m an aspiring youth mentor/counsellor and in due time my plans are to go back into studying and volunteering within that sector.

Recently I’ve been noticing more and more people that are going through low points in life, anxiety and depression. My purpose in life is to reach out and encourage anyone I can assist and support. I aspire to be a giver of strength, good vibes and love. I want to motivate and inspire people to feel better and be better. I know sometimes it’s easier said than done, but if you continuously speak your positive thoughts they will eventually come to pass.

I’ve decided to start off slowly and then take it from there. I’m praying God guides me and gives me strength to keep going and be consistent with this; I have faith that I can and will make a change.

I’ve set up an email account where by anyone going through low points in life, anxiety, depression or they just need encouragement and motivation can get through to me. All emails will definitely be kept confidential.

It’s the little things that count, if I have the strength to go through what I went though and make it to the other side. God is going to give me the strength to help you get through or encourage you at least to move further away from your dark place.

#DearMella let’s go…


Positivity Breeds Happiness ✨🌸

the rebirth.. | overcoming..

So I’ve been quiet for a while now, I’m back again :) with a little encouragement I’ve decided to finally speak up.

2014 had been the worst year ever, but up until a few weeks ago I knew it was going to turn around for the better. Things weren’t going well for me from the previous year. I tried so hard to not let the previous years drama to come into the new year.

From an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, mother being in hospital for months, hating my life and my job, literally everything was getting on top of me and I hit rock bottom. The negative thoughts literally took over my life and it was sucking the life out of me.

20th January 2014, I finally went to my GP and told them everything I was going through. I got diagnosed with Severe Depression, and the moment they told me that, my whole life actually crumbled. I was on anti-depressants for a while but it made me feel so much worse, got sent to therapy but I didn’t like the fact that they made me go back and think about the past and what triggered these emotional and very dark thoughts.

Overcoming depression became the hardest thing I ever had to do. Work was hard after this because the side effects of the meds were affecting me at work. I had constant break downs where I thought I was going crazy because I would just think about everything that I went through and I wonder why me, I had never ever felt SO low in my life. I tried so hard to eliminate negative thinking and probably lasted a few days and then end up in my gloomy funk.

I had to do something that was going to help me slowly overcome this and I tried to turn to my faith because I knew that would probably get me through. I was so hot and cold with my relationship with God. I felt he had given up on me and this was His way of punishing me.

Over the months of working on new ways to overcome depression I came across a few things that would help me. A few self help, encouraging and inspiring books; I also tried to always think positive. I got that tattoo ‘Positivity Breeds Happiness’ and every time I look at it I always try to think of at least one positive thought and it makes me happy at that moment in time.

During this time I had a very good close friend that I turned to, they were my escape. They made me forget about everything for the moments we would chill. I loved that there was someone there for me. Good company was what I needed after everything.

As much as I wanted to be by myself, I was scared when I was alone. I had my girls I would turn to when I wanted to just ‘turn up’ or eat and just live life. My sisters made things better for me as well. All the holidays this year with them were happy memories and made me forget about the problems, then I came back to reality and things just turned into one wild emotional roller coaster.

After everything I was going through I was telling myself that I had to go back to church, my old church that I had left 3 years prior. I felt like everything was worse because I wasn’t there receiving the word and just having a consistent progressive relationship with God.

3rd September 2014, I experienced a spiritual attack for the first time. Worst feeling ever. I had to ask my friends to pray for me, I don’t know how it came to happen but it was NOT a nice feeling at all. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. I felt so empty and confused, didn’t know what the hell was happening around me. The devil really did try it with me that day.

I prayed like I have never prayed before, cried, prayed, cried some more, read the bible, get my drift! After that day I told myself that Sunday I was going back. And it was like everything was happening for a reason. Before the pastor got into the word that Sunday morning, the spirit told him to pray for particular people that were suffering from heart problems, problems with joints in the body and depression. I can’t lie, I tried so hard to fight back the tears but that was a myth. He reminded me that my healing is now. I claimed that bad boy!

After that I decided that I has to realign my focus, spend more time with God and just get deep into the word and stay prayed up. I have to always remind myself that we all have challenges in life, but we can make them better or worse by the way we talk about them. Everyday is constant self improvement, and I’m always trying to better myself. Not trying to be the same as yesterday. I have a sound mind, I refuse to invite negativity into my life. My mind is full of wisdom and knowledge. No darkness or evil shall take over my mind and lead my life.

Beginning of September I decided to the #100DaysOfHappiness challenge on Instagram and normally you upload a picture everyday of something that makes you happy. I remixed it and basically uploaded happy thoughts, best decision I made. Despite the episode that took place on the 3rd of September, every day has been a good day. I haven’t thought negative thoughts since and I feel happier that this is a way that has helped me majorly to overcome depression.

“Think positive and positive things will happen. Don’t give any negative thinking any space in your mind to manifest and come to pass.”Me, 2014

I’m now on a journey to my peaceful place and I’m happy I’m further and further away from the negativity that I experienced in life.

Apologies if this post was long winded but after everything I realise that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.

Thanks for reading xo

Current Mood 💛🙏

Evening, this is actually just a random blog post but I felt like I had to share my thoughts real quick. I was in a bad mood not too long ago and I didn’t even know where to begin with praying so I thought I should write it down in my notes on my phone and just let out how I’m feeling, and see how I feel afterwards…

“The Lord God will provide for my every need. I shouldn’t have to worry about a thing, all I have to do I pray about everything and thank him for all he has done for me so far. Bringing the necessary people into my life and removing the irrelevant people that I didn’t need in my life. Day by day my increased growth is because of Jesus Christ and I can do nothing but praise and worship him. He’s done so much for me and I am forever grateful. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I am the precious daughter of the most high King and I receive all the blessings and unmerited favour that he will send my way. I am too blessed to be stressed. Negativity, failure, sickness and any sort of struggle is not my portion. Wealth, health and prosperity is definitely my portion and I receive it in the mighty name of Jesus and it will continue to be around me all the days of my life.

I thank God in advance for the abundant blessing coming my way at any point and I receive them with an open heart. I love you Lord, you are my strength and comforter and I live to worship your name forever more. Thank you for what you have done for me and thank you for what you are going to do for me.”

It’s hard to say all this because sometimes I don’t know what to say or even how to say how I feel without sounding like fool. But Lord you know my heart and my true desires.

After writing all of this, no word of a lie I feel at ease. I had to remember this: “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT)

Niiiiiiight xo


The Lord has a funny way of speaking to me you know. Right now my aim is to continue working and making myself a better person. Changes are going to be made. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! I am my own motivation, Lord Almighty is my strength and comforter. When the tough gets going, I know I can turn to The Lord to keep me focused on where I need to be.

It’s like I’ve had an epiphany and all this time away from some social networks has made me focus on what I need to work on, instead of focusing on complete jazz that isn’t even edifying my spirit one bit. It was a distraction you know, there’s only so many encouraging tweets and bible scriptures I can retweet, most of my timeline still seems to be filled with junk no matter how much I try to filter it out.

I went to a youth prayer group on the evening of 19th March 2014, it was my first time being in a church for nearly a year. No word of a lie, the spirit undeniably moved within me. The pastor was definitely speaking to me that evening and I’m thankful that I even went. For a while I have been brushing off invites to churches because I felt that I didn’t need to go and something was holding me back. Not knowing I was the one holding myself back.

This year so far has been a roller coaster and we’re not even half way through the year. Pure headache. I’m trying to handle it the best way I can. Believe me when I say things could be worse but just know I am still here because I have a purpose which I’m still yet to fulfil; God clearly is not done with me yet. I am SO thankful for how far I’ve come. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m happy I’m not where I used to be and by Gods grace I’ll get to where I need to be.

I am currently in the midst of overcoming a tough situation in my life and it takes time and I’m at peace with that. But one thing I realised which I learnt at the prayer group I went to is that I am accepting it which I need to stop doing. It’s not even a situation of ‘it is what it is’ no, dead that. I don’t have to embrace my weakness. Don’t accept it. The moment I accept my weakness it will always be a hindrance. So I just have to be careful what I embrace and accept. I am continuously being strengthened through Christ.

Thank you for reading. May God bless you and keep you xo

Where do broken hearts go?

It has been a while and I have been a tad bit quiet but I’m back with another post.

This year has been a very wild emotional roller coaster to say the least. The thoughts, feelings and emotions I have felt this year about everything have been crazy.

I’ve been in a situation where I lost my focus which was myself and what I wanted to do; and being how I am I decided to cater for the needs of others and forget about my cares and problems. Putting my all, time and emotion into something while the chances of it being reciprocated was 70:30 was a big mistake. You live and you learn though, don’t you?

I didn’t completely drop God out of my life but let’s just say I put him on the back burner of my mind and actions. I was impatient and decided that the time is now; totally ignoring Gods timing, silly me.

I can’t even lie and say I regret my involvement in this situation, but it left me emotionally broken and spiritually damaged. The one thing I had tried to avoid! It happens

Carrying someone’s burden and making them you’re priority, showing nothing but love, being a generous, considerate and kindhearted person because you want to make sure that they never feel alone in anything they are doing, that’s me all over. I put my trust into something and had their word but hey things happen and people go back on their word. Long!!
(people that are all talk no action, jarring)

I’m not even going to be bitter and say I’ll never trust or love again. Jazz. I’m not on it. Of course I want love. I love love. Love is a great feeling. I’m not going to let someone else suffer because of how people have treated me in the past. NO. Let go & let God. That’s what I’m doing.

So, “where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home?”

Yes, they definitely can! Because of how I am personally and my relationship with God that isn’t perfect but I’m definitely working on it. I can always go back to Him because I know for sure He will never turn his back on me. I’m going home back to God because I know He’s got me no matter what. He’s been waiting, He has always been close.

I got told to check this scripture by a sister in Christ. It’s the one scripture that inspired me to write this quick post.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalms 34:18 NLT)

Thank you for reading. Until next time; sayonara xo